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Third Place this week goes to this story from Mexico: Police Find Prostitutes, Drugs, Roosters in Mexican Prison. “Mexican police discovered 19 prostitutes, two sacks of marijuana and 100 roosters for cock fighting in a surprise inspection of a jail in the resort city of Acapulco, authorities said Monday.” They also found six female prisoners in the male section of the prison, two peacocks, and a few plasma TVs. Those Mexican prisoners know how to party! My only question is, What is up with the peacocks?

It is back to Florida for Second Place: Florida Prisoner Suing Over ‘Cruel And Unusual’ Soy-Based Meals. Eric is a pedophile serving a life sentence. The Florida Correctional System has replaced 60-70% of meat with soy in the meals they serve prisoners. Eric says he wants more meat (Insert your own by-line there!). “U.S. courts have said in the past that prisons have to serve nutritious meals, not pretty ones or those that comply with a prisoner’s idea of home cooking.” I hope this case goes nowhere. If it does get a hearing, I don’t think anyone is going to have too much sympathy for poor Eric. Maybe we could get him transferred to a Mexican prison. They seem to be having a pretty good time there.

This weeks winning headline comes to us out of Wales: Burly Rugby Player Wakes Up Gay After Stroke, Becomes Hairdresser. Chris, pictured at the left holding a hairdryer, was a 266 pound rugby player, engaged to a girl. He tried to do a back flip and landed wrong, breaking his neck and causing a stroke. “It sounds strange but when I came round I immediately felt different,” Birch told the Daily Mail. “I wasn’t interested in women anymore. I was definitely gay.” Chris dumped his girlfriend and acquired a boyfriend, Jack, and became a hair stylist. I wonder if he got hit on the head again if it would turn him back hetero? Just wondering…

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