How about this headline for Third Place: Tennessee Man, 37, Arrested For Assaulting His Mother With A Ham. A lot of people seem to be going to jail for assaults related to food. Emanuel and his mom were having an argument. Maybe she was asking him to finally get a job and leave home. That part is not clear. As the argument escalated, Emanuel picked up the ham and threw it at his mother, hitting her in the back. He admitted to the police that he did throw the ham at her, he just did not expect to hit her. Hopefully, the judge will forbid Emanuel from having any violent contact with food when he sentences him.
Second Place can be filed under the category of Stupid Criminals: Teen Rescued from Chimney, Arrested. It seems that 17 year old Ranaldo, pictured at the left, tried to break into a neighbor’s house, Santa Claus style, by going down the chimney in Norcross, Georgia. Instead of getting into the house, though, he just got stuck in the narrow chimney. He was trapped there for ten hours before a neighbor could hear a muffled voice calling for help. The neighbor called the Police and the Fire Department. The FD rescued Ranaldo and the PD arrested him.
And the Story of the Week winner is: Robber Remains Logged onto Facebook While Running from Homeowner. This story is also out of Norcross, Georgia. When Stephanie got home from running errands, she noticed a strange car in her driveway. There was no one in the car but the engine was running. Stephanie knew something was wrong so she took matters into her own hands. She turned the suspicious car off and pocketed the keys and took the wallet she saw laying in the seat. Stephanie got back in her car and parked up the street where she could watch her house. Within minutes, a guy came out of her house, carrying armfuls of her stuff. Stephanie called 911. The bad guy realized that he could not drive away, dropped the stuff and left on foot. He broke into another house in the same neighborhood. This time, he did not steal anything. He just needed to use their computer to update his Facebook Page. You know, something like, “Status: Breaking into Houses.” The problem was when he left that house, he did not log off and so the police have his Facebook profile to go along with his ID that Stephanie snatched out of his car. The police said that they have issued Burglary warrants for Trevor Jones. Not surprisingly, he was already on parole for Burglary.